A Chooseafamily.com vignette
By Jill Parshley-Cardillo
What is the ‘New Year’? Technically, it is when the earth completes one full orbit around the sun. Well, 2025 is here. The 2024 circuit is complete. At Chooseafamily.com, we would like to begin this new year with you. Saying goodbye to our past aids us in welcoming the present. As you bid farewell to this past year’s complete run around the sun, was there a highlight on your journey that you hold close to your heart that you would like to share with us? Send your story to info@chooseafamily.com and maybe it will be one of the stories we share with our members as we all begin 2025 together. What special moments will you carry in your mind, body and spirit as you embrace another year around the sun?
There were many precious moments for me from 2024. One memory in particular, though, I found to be the most inspirational, uplifting, eye opening experience I had this past year, and it was thanks to a seagull. It was at Jones Beach, NY, at the end of the summer. The following is the story I wrote about the experience. We here at Chooseafamily.com hope this simple seafront story will help you as you select your friends, mentors, and “family of choice” here on our site, while opening up opportunities for change, growth and ways to fly high for 2025.
“The Standing Seagull”
Three long tedious years had passed, and I was able to walk through sand again after my broken right foot had finally healed. I accomplished this mighty feat at Jones Beach when my husband and I thought a sunset and toe dip in the ocean would be a lovely way to end the season before Labor Day. Whilst there, I filmed a stoic seagull who taught me valuable lessons.
It had been several years since I had been to the beach. In 2021, as all of us were adjusting to a new way of life in the midst of the COVID pandemic, I broke my right foot, sprained my left ankle, and had a torn ligament in each of my ankles. How did that occur? Well, being cooped up during the pandemic, I painfully gained the “quarantine 15”, so I had the bright idea to attempt to lose weight and gain followers by jumping rope. Only thing is, I did it on cement ground with old sneakers and no breaks in between sets. I pushed myself past the limit and jumped 10 sets of 30 reps each. 300 rope jumps. Mind you, I had not jumped rope in many years. When my foot started swelling, I ignored it and chalked it up to consuming salty foods. It got worse each day. Two weeks later, I finally went to the podiatrist embarking on a journey of healing. The lesson learned is to not over do it, to take action to care for ourselves, while accepting our imperfections. Never put too much pressure on yourself to be “perfect” and “liked”; you could hurt yourself and others while doing so. Recovering was challenging, especially since I was not able to use either of my feet without crutches, cam boots or orthotics. Once it was all healed up in 2023, I then accidentally tripped and fell, tearing one of the ligaments which I worked so hard to heal. Then I was back at square one.
Now, after my third summer of healing, I was so happy to actually be walking along the beach in early September 2024 without needing any help. Despite being able to independently walk with my two feet and 10 toes, I kept ruminating with each salty breeze…how unfortunate it is that I have not been able to go on long walks or climb stairs without swelling and pain, and, I’m scared to ride my bike, and, will I ever be able to dance or run again? At Jones Beach there was beauty all around me – the flocks of seagulls, families playing together, music, the ripe peaches we ate, the sweet drops of fruit on our sun kissed lips, wading through the warm ocean with my husband, drawing in the wet sand, collecting seashells…all of which I took in sparingly just for fleeting moments in between my long-winded, sinuous rants. The sounds of the waves were constantly wet with questions: Why did these injuries happen to me? How could I push myself like that? Why didn’t I stop? I should have…, would have…, could have…I really was drowning in my regret, as my joy washed away with the waves crashing.
It was time to replace my attitude with gratitude. How could I do that?
Out of the hundreds of seagulls flying over our heads, all of a sudden, one big healthy seagull beautifully glides down inches from me and just stands there, staring at me. I swear, she was staring at me; ME. She stood for at least a full 5 minutes. I had nothing to feed her, I already ate my plum. I waited and thought WHY is she here so close to me for sooo long? Is she trying to tell me something? Or, is she about to eat my toes? Then, I got chills that sunk deep into the pit of my stomach when I noticed something so very subtle; her left leg was literally flopping in the wind. Yes, it was gross, but kinda cute, blowing in the wind like a little kite. She was missing her whole left foot. It was an old healed injury. Maybe from a shark bite? Who knows how or when or why. Her right foot was magnificent. It held her up like a strong, majestic, proud seagull! (See photo/ video). The little left stump was blowing in the wind, with the ankle and foot just…gone. She stood there with radical acceptance. RADICAL ACCEPTANCE.
It felt as if that seagull was waiting for me… waiting until I finally noticed what she did not have, so I could be truly grateful for what I still have.
She waited until I could see how strong and determined she was, despite her condition, to remind me of the strength and determination we all have within us. She practically posed so I could take photos and videos of her. I have since come to radically accept myself for being me, exactly where I am, make any necessary changes, and be more grateful and willing to find my own strength deep within. Thank you, seagull. I am going to have a good, heck, a great year, and so are all of you.
It was in that exact moment, when the standing seagull knew I was grateful for what I did have, when I made the decision to accept myself, imperfections and all and let go, that her strong wings opened up, and she soared away.
This brings us back to Kim Parshley’s Chooseafamily.com platform.
When you join Chooseafamily.com you are in search of a familiar connection. It might also feel like you are back at square one. Some of you may be coming from a long journey of grief losing a loved one, or an array of confusion ending an unhealthy relationship, now yearning to start anew, perhaps a family feud has still not settled, or a mentor you looked up to had a turn of events and is no longer available for support.
It’s challenging in this heck of a world to find new friends, mentors, and people who could possibly be “substitute family members” helping to compliment our family voids. Come on admit it, us humans could be very picky, and we have the right to be. We deserve the best, don’t we? I don’t want to find someone who isn’t perfect for me, however, what IF those people who I am scrolling through on Chooseafamily.com are EXACTLY who they are supposed to be at this moment on their journey. Perhaps if I reached out to them, we may get along very well and who knows, maybe even teach one another valuable lessons in life. What if I am imperfect? Am I still lovable? Can I still be a friend or mentor to someone else who is imperfect?
With the new year here, how can I make this year’s journey around the sun worthwhile? Can I set a goal for myself to be more accepting of those around me and invite new friends on my journey, even if they are not “perfect”? There will never be the perfect match, but there will be the perfect opportunity to match here at Chooseafamily.com. Might we suggest what the seagull taught me, to have radical acceptance and learn to love others exactly where they are at, to love myself exactly where I am at! I’m sick of putting such high expectations on myself and others. Who is to say that the person I choose has strengths that I have not yet seen, just like this seagull did? She was a survivor standing right in front of me and I did not even know it until I took the time to pause, and really be present to SEE the seagull. These precious moments present tiny miracles before us, every day.
It is up to us to CHOOSE to be still and open for blessings. In this new year, let’s focus on who I can FIND instead of who I lost, and even more…who can find and choose me? How can I be open to the transformation within, and the one that occurs after we are blessed with who we find, imperfections and all? Please remember…as we fly high into 2025, most importantly, you do not have to go on this journey around the sun feeling alone anymore. You can have a HAPPY new year. Chooseafamily.com.
Jill Parshley-Cardillo is a writer for Chooseafamily.com, a teacher, poet, performer, and freelance NY journalist. A selection from her published articles can be found at