I was the fourth child born the family in a set of twins the other a boy, there was three girls born before us, my twin and I was born a month early he was hidden behind me until the month before, I was born first my brother second; my mom was overjoyed she named my sisters after family members but it when it came to me I was given name that matched my twin's, who was named after a grandfather growing up it seemed like things was okay but this year I have really thought about family and had come to the realization that my birth family is *inserts swear word*
I grew up under a delusion that everything was good, I was given food, shelter, clothes on my back, a PlayStation 2, and acres to health but one thing I never gotten was real love and my parents emotionally absent it suck. I was robbed of a decent childhood when I realize my mom had a very loose rope on my siblings mainly the eldest but not me (seems like it to me)
When I started school in the beginning I was a little bad kid from showing off my underwear, not doing what teachers told me, I even (regretfully) bullied a girl much older than me on bus ride home(why did no one completely stop me?)
in summer of 2006 one of my shoulders was much lower than the other, I got it checked out and was diagnosed with kyphosis and not long after chronic back pain followed
as I went through school I became tamed to point of being quiet nearly all the time and did my work(throw in procrastination) finished school with good grades afterwards I took a year break then went to try for college but chickened out tried again the following year but something happened that cause me to give up and loose motivation to go to college
due to my back pain I have not been able to get a regular 9 to 5 job (which are the only jobs around here not needing college Ed.) I tried before but did not get it or called to see. Last year I wanted to see if could try to get one again I asked my birth mother but she emotionlessly brushed me off
about me right now I have nothing (is trying for something) no friends, no lover, no family
My birth family is completely undependable, toxic especially my birth mother who is source nearly of my problems it really heart breaking know she had chosen my twin over the both of us she really loves her baby boy. I'm calling it now she had made many a terrible decision and she forgot about karma and after all the poop I have been given I'm going to let her continue digging her own hole and I'm going walk from such unhealthy woman and family, I have to
I have said that if my family's life was made into a show it would be a drama and in my arch I would not be see often and what is mainly felt is both mental and physical pain there would only be a few sweet moments
those sweet moments happened with my little princess a female dog named Tater. I loved her with all my heart and the only one to give me unconditional love next year will be ten years since I lost her
(Will add more)
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