KerryF

Throughout my life I've longed for a sister. I had a relatively decent childhood, and I still have a relationship with my parents and brothers. However, expressing emotions and showing affection were different in my family. It's not that emotions and affection were taboo in my family, I think it stemed from both of my parents' families having experienced some significant traumas before my parents even met.

My dad lost his mother to breast cancer at the age of 15, and she had been sick for several years leading up to that. After my grandma passed away, my grandpa spiraled into alcoholism. He wasn't a terrible man, he just burried his pain with alcohol. Then, 6 years later my dad's older sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 25 and she passed away 6 years later. 4 years after my aunt passed away one of my dad's uncles commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. I feel like these events significantly affected my dad's capacity for healthy emotional expression.

My mom didn't lose any parents growing up, but she did grow up as the 4th of 10 children, many of whom were quite rebellious as kids, and there was a lot of sibling rivalry, even to this day, which I think partly contributed to my mom's capacity to be a more emotionally available parent. In addition to a chaotic childhood, when my mom was 22, one of her brothers was hit by a drunk driver while he was crossing the street; he survived, but was in a coma for 35 days, and had pretty severe brain damage when he woke up. Then, 7 years later, 1 month before I was born, my mom's youngest brother commit suicide. I love and care about my mom, but I've never felt bonded to her like she was with her mother, and I think it may have to do with having been born while my mom was still grieving her brother.

My parents are decent people, and given the family hardships they experienced, they did a relatively good job raising me and my brothers, but don't feel connected to them emotionally, which is why I think I've always longed for a sister. My mom has 5 sisters, one passed away, but the others still try their best to maintain a connection with each other in some capacity, but those relationships can be volatile at times, and I feel that they tend to take each other for granted. At the same time though, despite their ups and downs and even though their interactions with each other sometimes border on child-like and could use a healthy dose of compassion, my mom and her sisters still at least put in some effort to support each other the best they can during tough times.

Being around my mom and her sisters my whole life has been a relatively decent experience, but the older I get, the more I wish I had a sister-figure. I have a decent amount of female friends, but I still feel a void, and it would be wonderful to fill that void by being able to be a positive sister figure to someone else who also looking for positive support and a social outlet.